The Degrassi Diaries
by redhedqt
Summary: The students of Degrassi are forced into keeping diaries for school. They knew they would hate it, but they never expected it to help them understand themselves (and each other) better...
1. Introduction

The Degrassi Diaries  
  
Introduction  
  
For a school project promoting "English excellence", every student in Degrassi must keep a diary of their innermost thoughts and every day happenings. The Degrassi Diaries take a look into the minds of Jimmy Brooks, Emma Nelson, Sean Cameron, Manny Santos, Craig Manning, Ellie Nash, Marco Del Rossi, and Paige Michalchuk.  
  
"I don't think anyone will know me as anything other than Mr. Popularity. The rich kid, the basketball star. Worst of all, I have this fear that no matter what, I'm never going to fall in love or be loved in return." – Jimmy Brooks  
  
"To be anything other than what I am would be a complete and total relief. Going one day without slicing my wrist open would be a total relief. Having my best friend love me instead of the senior hockey star would be a relief. Not existing would be a relief." – Ellie Nash  
  
"I'm not just about saving the planet. There are other parts of me. I'm just not sure if I should let anyone see them. But deep down, I have a desire to be bad. I do. It's just that I'm afraid to be anything other than what I already am." – Emma Nelson  
  
"Surviving one relationship is hard enough, but juggling two? At the same time? Damn near impossible. I don't know how I do it some days. I don't know how I live with myself some days, knowing that I am utter and complete scum. I screw around and play with people's emotions, only this time it's gotten me in way over my head." – Craig Manning  
  
"It's so easy to blame things on me. A vending machine gets knocked over, someone loses their job, someone gets their feelings hurt, someone loses their kids to child services. Not everything is my fault, but no matter what it is, just call on me, the whipping boy." – Sean Cameron  
  
"I live in constant fear every day of wearing something that shows way too much skin and convinces another guy it's okay to take from me what I can never get back. Even with my own boyfriend. Hugging him is a strain. Making out is a battle. And sex, if I ever feel like I can take that leap? It's going to be the Armageddon." – Paige Michalchuk "As if I can change the person I am inside. Something's always been not quite right with me, and I finally have figured out what it is. And now that I've figured it out, I'm pissing off a lot of people." – Marco Del Rossi  
  
No one really wanted to do the Degrassi Diary project in the first place, but no one imagined a school project could them give such insights into themselves...and each other. 


	2. Jimmy's first entry

January 15, 2004  
  
So this is completely ridiculous. They claim this is to promote English excellence, or whatever. They claim it will give us more "insight" into ourselves. They claim that this will not be used against us.  
  
Bullshit.  
  
Just because I have a C- GPA, it doesn't make me a complete retard. The reason this little project exists is not to better our grammar or writing skills, or to help understand ourselves better. This is purely to get inside our twisted little minds, walk around in it, and fuck with us.  
  
I guess since they can't do mandatory drug, STD, or pregnancy tests, this is the closest they get to stepping behind enemy lines, right? Whatever. I don't rock the boat, I just sit in it and pray to God it'll all be over soon.  
  
If you, the wonderful teachers, administrators, and school board don't know me, you may want to get your eyes checked. I'm Jimmy Brooks, and I pretty much run the basketball court. The social scene too. I guess I'm what you would call a "star student".  
  
But I feel like anything BUT a star these days.  
  
As far as the battle of the sexes, it's Jimmy zero. No matter what I do, it seems like I can't get things right in the female department. I'm either getting dumped, or outside forces are working against me when I'm trying to get with a different girl.  
  
I feel like the fates have deemed me undateable. Is there a neon blinking sign hanging above my head that says "Loser" that I don't see? I don't get it. How can I be so good in everything else, and suck so bad at this one thing?  
  
I don't know why I even care. It's not like I can change it, right?  
  
I'm out.  
  
- Jimmy. 


	3. Manny's first entry

January 15, 2004  
  
I hate writing.  
  
I hate blinking, I hate breathing, I hate living. I hate being me.  
  
Not what you'd expect from the star of the spirit squad, right?  
  
Well, get used to it. Because I'm going to have to get used to my new life. And my new pant size.  
  
If you're scratching your head at this point, it's understandable. Allow me to explain.  
  
I, Manuella Santos, am a whore. Not the good kind, like label whores or cam whores. Just a flat out whore. I sleep with other people's boyfriends. Just thinking about it makes me want to beat the shit out of myself. Then when I think about everything else, it makes me want to hang myself.  
  
Craig Manning moving to Degrassi was the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to me. It all started when I looked into those eyes. Those beautiful eyes you could drown in. He just had this natural charisma and charm that none of the other guys at Degrassi had. Then, I did a little bit of research and found out he played guitar and sang.  
  
Oh fuck me.  
  
I didn't even have half a shot of not having a crush on him. No one did. Everyone harbored their little crush on Craig. Emma, Ashley, even Paige found him to be a little on the hot side. Ashley even got to go out with him. Emma and Paige got over it, like they always do. But me? I followed him around like a little lost puppy, hanging on his every word. And he barely noticed me, until my skankalicious makeover came into play. And then all of a sudden I'm so hot and so mature and so...fuckable.  
  
That's really the only word I can use to describe myself. Fuckable. Because that's all there is to me. No brains, no beauty, no personality. Just a vagina. I'm the biggest walking cliché of all time...a slutty cheerleader. And you'd better believe I played that shit to the hilt. It was, after all, my only defense mechanism.  
  
But defense mechanisms are a lot like atomic bombs. They tend to blow up in your face and destroy your entire existence.  
  
I'm pregnant. With Craig's child. And I don't know what the hell to do. I'm in way over my head with the water level steadily rising. Do I have the abortion? Have the baby? Put it up for adoption? I don't know. But I do know that when this is all over, I'm just gonna save myself the agony and kill myself.  
  
After all, they do say that once you become a mother you're no longer sexy. What is there to me besides sex? Nothing. So I may as well disappear. No one will notice I'm gone anyway.  
  
In a nutshell, Manny Santos 


End file.
